


The Ultimates Group Chat

by Lexis



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair, Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, F/F, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, M/M, Naegami, Sexual Humor, Underage Drinking, ishimondo - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-08 00:14:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 13,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11634909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lexis/pseuds/Lexis
Summary: Leon creates a group chat just for fun. Hilarity and insanity soon follow.Not everyone is pleased with the names he chose.~I've always loved writing in a text or group chat format so I'm doing it for my trigger happy havoc children.Warning: It'll get punny and gay and ridiculous.Got the idea from Munchingpotatoes123 check out their chat story it's pretty fucking lit.





	1. Leon is a fuck up and the gay is strong

**Author's Note:**

> Chat Log Usernames:
> 
> Gettinthirdbase: Leon  
> LuckDuck: Makoto  
> Hot-Kyouko: Kirigiri  
> GayHallMonitor: Kiyotaka  
> Mary-Wanna: Hagakure  
> Shuckmycorn: Mondo  
> 21Guns: Mukuro  
> Weebtastic: Hifumi  
> Ludenburger: Celeste  
> BitchesloveDonuts: Asahina  
> Fuckthisguy: Togami  
> ChokeMe: Touko  
> PROteen: Sakura  
> HackmeDaddy: Chihiro  
> PsychoSayaka: Sayaka

**Suck My Ultimate Balls Group Chat:**

 

_Gettinthirdbase has joined_  
_LuckDuck has joined_  
_Hot-Kyouko has joined_  
_GayHallMonitor has joined_  
_Mary-Wanna has joined_  
_Shuckmycorn has joined_  
_21Guns has joined_  
_Weebtastic has joined_  
_Ludenburger has joined_  
_BitchesloveDonuts has joined_  
_Fuckthisguy has joined_  
_ChokeMe has joined_  
_PROteen has joined_  
_HackmeDaddy has joined_  
_PsychoSayaka has joined_

Gettinthirdbase: soooo what do you guys think of the chatroom i made???? ;D

ChokeMe: these names are terrible AND I HATE YOU

21Guns: i'm just a Green Day reference are you serious?

Gettinthirdbase: hey green day is the shit

LuckDuck: my name doesn't feel all that creative...

PROteen: well my name just seems to be a pun that was not well thought out

Gettinthirdbase: you didn't give me a lot of material to work with makoto

Gettinthirdbase: HEY I THOUGHT HARD ABOUT IT GIVE ME SOME CREDIT

HackmeDaddy: my name makes no sense besides the hacking part what do daddies have to do with it??

Shuckmycorn: leon don't tell him for the love of god

Shuckmycorn: and what the fuck is up with my name? you pokin fun at my hair again you son of a bitch?

Gettinthirdbase: well yeah obviously and it's a euphemism for a hand job ;D

Shuckmycorn: Since when what the fuck

Mary-Wanna: what's a euphemism??????

Mary-Wanna: and why am i mary wanna?

LuckDuck: sound it out

Mary-Wanna: OOOOOOOOOOH i get it now :D

GayHallMonitor: Can you explain my name please? Why are you assuming this about me?

BitchesloveDonuts: DID YOU JUST ASSUME HIS SEXUALITY??????????

Ludenburger: is that a meme or a genuine question?

BitchesloveDonuts: meme o3o

Ludenburger: of course it is

Gettinthirdbase: gee man idk it's not like you make it a point to touch mondo whenever you possibly can

Gettinthirdbase: to ease confusion that was sarcasm

Hot-Kyouko: we know it is no need to clarify

GayHallMonitor: I do no such thing! Besides it's natural to want to be close to your kyoudai! You could never understand our bond.

Shuckmycorn: yeah you tell them babe c;

GayHallMonitor: MONDO

Shuckmycorn: yes darling? ;D

GayHallMonitor: I'm sitting right next to you Mondo I can stop you from typing such things if I wanted!

Shuckmycorn: lol i'm just jokin kyoudai <3

Shuckmycorn: you just look super adorable when you're all flustered and blushing <33333

GayHallMonitor: MONDO PLEASE REFRAIN FROM TELLING THEM THINGS LIKE THAT!

Shuckmycorn: what are you gonna do to stop me? ;DDDD

GayHallMonitor: I'm gonna tell everyone right now that you're blushing as well! You're using the chatroom to say these things confidently but you can't even look at me!

Shuckmycorn: OKAY I'LL STOP I'LL STOP

GayHallMonitor: Thank you kyoudai <3

Weebtastic: can you gays stop hogging the chat THE REST OF US ARE HERE TOO

PsychoSayaka: it's kinda cute how they ignore other people when they're together 

Fuckthisguy: If by cute you mean nauseating then I agree. 

21Guns: lol nice name there togami

Gettinthirdbase: i think that's one name we can all agree is accurate

BitchesloveDonuts: oh for sure

Ludenburger: absolutely 

LuckDuck: honestly i don't but that's just me

ChokeMe: you're just saying that because master showers you with affection!

ChokeMe: YOU HOMEWRECKING SON OF A BITCH

Mary-Wanna: OH SHIT IT'S GOING DOWN FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

Fuckthisguy: For the love of God can you shut up and stop calling me master? You're disgusting.

Ludenburger: she likes it when you insult her be careful

Gettinthirdbase: probably having an orgasm right now

Fuckthisguy: As disgusting as that it is you're most likely correct.

LuckDuck: sorry for getting her mad by accident byakuya ; _ ;

Fuckthisguy: It's fine Makoto you couldn't have known she'd freak out like a complete moron.

LuckDuck: thank you <3

PsychoSayaka: now since that gay matter is settled can you tell me why i'm a psycho leon?

Gettinthirdbase: it just sounded right to me honestly

Hot-Kyouko: and my name?

Gettinthirdbase: pun of hot coco not to mention you're hot as hell

Ludenburger: she doesn't want to hear that from you of all people

Weebtastic: Kyouko wants to hear it from her ^

Ludenburger: SHUT UP PORKY NOBODY ASKED YOU

Weebtastic: D:

GayHallMonitor: I honestly can't find much creative merit when it comes to our usernames.

Gettinthirdbase: okay maybe they're not the most creative but your's is accurate dude 

GayHallMonitor: No it isn't! 

Hot-Kyouko: Kiyotaka can you do me a favor and describe Mondo's attributes?

Shuckmycorn: um why????

Hot-Kyouko: just for fun

GayHallMonitor: Of course Kyouko I'd be happy to!

HackmeDaddy: is this a good idea?

LuckDuck: just trust her 

GayHallMonitor: Mondo is way smarter than anybody gives him credit for to start! A night or two of studying and he aces tests with no issues! He's really kind and honorable and keeps his promises. He always tries to protect me if I end up in scuffles with typical bullies. He's super gentle with people he cares about and funny and has a contagious smile and laugh! His smile is honestly the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

GayHallMonitor: Oh and when his hair is down it's really curly and fluffy and nice to play with! He's very nicely built as well! He'll let me feel his biceps and abs and they're very impressive! 

Shuckmycorn: OKAY OKAY TIME TO STOP

PsychoSayaka: AWWWW THAT'S SO ADORABLE

BitchesloveDonuts: OMG MONDO'S TOTALLY BLUSHING ISN'T HE?????

GayHallMonitor: He actually is in fact! Wait he's grabbing myiehrihiwehrihohrihaQOEHFOefifbeahrajbioewhasbfsakjib

Gettinthirdbase: i'm gonna take a guess and say mondo took his phone

Fuckthisguy: Most likely.

Weebtastic: in any case it looks like kuwata was right

Mary-Wanna: yeah no kidding

PROteen: should we be concerned?

BitchesloveDonuts: nah they're probably making out right now

21Guns: i wouldn't doubt it

Hot-Kyouko: I rest my case


	2. Late Night Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hiro annoys his friends with his late night thoughts.  
> Everyone is done with everything and Mondo is whipped pass it on.

**Suck My Ultimate Balls Group Chat:**

 

Mary-Wanna: hey guys are shrimp mermaids to scorpions?

21Guns: ummmmmm why

Mary-Wanna: it's important

Gettinthirdbase: dude it's 3 am what the hell are you on about?

Mary-Wanna: i can't sleep i'm thinking too much

ChokeMe: didn't know that was possible for you

BitchesloveDonuts: OOOOOOOOO BURN

Mary-Wanna: :c

Ludenburger: excuse me could you stop blowing up my phone some of us are trying to get some beauty sleep

Shuckmycorn: yeah celeste needs it the most out of all of us

BitchesloveDonutes: DOUBLE BURN

GayHallMonitor: Kyoudai that was rude! Not to mention you woke me up with your laughter. We have school tomorrow you know!

BitchesloveDonuts: wait wait taka i thought you couldn't have people over on a school night???

Shuckmycorn: his parents are working late and won't be home until after we leave for school tomorrow 

ChokeMe: Oooooooooo perfect prefect breaking the rules to have his boyfriend sleep over huh? ;D

GayHallMonitor: IT'S NOT LIKE THAT

Shuckmycorn: it's totally like that

GayHallMonitor: MONDO WE TALKED ABOUT THIS

Gettinthirdbase: maybe you should "taka" bout it again (;

Mary-Wanna: YOU ALL DODGED MY QUESTION

ChokeMe: yeah because it's stupid

21Guns: how the hell should we know hiro look it up on google idgaf

Gettinthirdbase: i think shrimp are totally mermaids to scorpions i mean it's pretty obvious

Ludenburger: no it's really not

Shuckmycorn: you're just sayin that cause you want hiro's dick come on we're all friends you can tell us

Gettinthirdbase: oh shut up uniCORN you're one to talk

Gettinthirdbase: all it takes to get you to do something is for taka to say please and shine his eyes at you

Gettinthirdbase: you're fucking whipped dude

Ludenburger: i have to agree

BitchesloveDonuts: ooooooo he went there it's going down

Shuckmycorn: THAT IS SO NOT FUCKING TRUE AND STOP WITH THE CORN JOKES YOU ASSHOLE

Mary-Wanna: i think there's a thirty percent chance that leon is wrong about this

Mary-Wanna: so yeah he's probably right :D

Shuckmycorn: oh fuck off you're just sayin that because he answered your question

Mary-Wanna: i have another do you think cow's milk is actually cow cum i have a conspiracy theory about it

LuckDuck: ugggghhh you guys woke me it's too late for this ; _ ;

LuckDuck: WHY DID COW CUM HAVE TO BE THE FIRST THING I SAW?????

GayHallMonitor: It's okay Makoto I too, am disgusted with that theory. It's completely flawed!

Gettinthirdbase: dude did you seriously just ignore the conversation we were having before?

Gettinthirdbase: about mondo being your whipped bitch?????

Shuckmycorn: he drifted off and didn't see it so shut up

GayHallMonitor: Didn't see what Mondo?

BitchesLoveDonuts: scroll up

Shuckmycorn: DON'T SCROLL UP

21Guns: scroll up

Shuckmycorn: DON'T FUCKING DO IT

Mary-Wanna: just take his phone dude

LuckDuck: i think it's too late

GayHallMonitor: Mondo what does being whipped mean besides the obvious physical implication?

_3 Minutes Later_

BitchesloveDonuts: mondo?

Gettinthirdbase: dude you alive?

GayHallMonitor: He turned off his phone for the night and said he'd tell me in the morning.

Gettinthirdbase: awwwww come on make him tell you

GayHallMonitor: I don't know if I should force him.

ChokeMe: you could always kiss him into submission

21Guns: of course you're away for twenty minutes and the first thing you come back and say is that

GayHallMonitor: I WOULD DO NO SUCH THING!

ChokeMe: what can i say? i'm horny as fuck

LuckDuck: this is Jill isn't it

ChokeMe: you got that right baby ;D

Mary-Wanna: you can just feel the sexual frustration through the screen

Gettinthirdbase: okay instead of her horny ideas just smile at him and say please

GayHallMonitor: Okay I'll try that!

_5 Minutes Later_

GayHallMonitor: He told me and it worked!

Mary-Wanna: not surprising tbh

BitchesloveDonuts: and what did he say???

GayHallMonitor: It's a term couples use when one is at the beck and call of the other! Someone who always does what they're partner says without a second thought!

GayHallMonitor: So it couldn't apply to us since we're not a couple! I don't understand why it was such a big deal in the first place!

Gettinthirdbase: this is so ironic i don't even know where to start

LuckDuck: no kidding

Ludenburger: CAN YOU ALL SHUT UP AND GO TO SLEEP

ChokeMe: yeah as much as i'm drooling over ishimondo's gay vibes a serial killer needs some rest

ChokeMe: JUST KIDDING I'LL ALWAYS STAY AWAKE FOR GAY VIBES

LuckDuck: ishimondo?

ChokeMe: it's their ship name dummy!

LuckDuck: oh yeah i forgot about that

GayHallMonitor: What's a ship name?

Gettinthirdbase: have mondo tell you i'm tired as balls dude

Ludenburger: fuck all of you i'm turning off my phone for the whole day

Gettinthirdbase: but what about my sick ass group chat???? D;

Ludenburger: fuck you AND your group chat

Mary-Wanna: it's okay man i'll always be here for you

Gettinthirdbase: thanks dude :D

Mary-Wanna: no prob bob :p

ChokeMe: YES IT'S GETTING GAYER

Gettinthirdbase: OKAY NOW YOU'RE REACHING

BitchesloveDonuts: i mean it's not as obvious as mondo and taka but i can see it

Gettinthirdbase: okay i'm turning this chat around we're going to back to bed

ChokeMe: you're not my mom 

LuckDuck: byakuya said he'll let you talk to him for five minutes tomorrow if you go to sleep

ChokeMe: PEACE OUT BITCHES

BitchesloveDonuts: that was easy

Mary-Wanna: was that a lie?

LuckDuck: yes

21Guns: wow makoto lying never thought i'd see the day

Gettinthirdbase: it'll go down in chat history

BitchesloveDonuts: literally

Ludenburger: i'm so done with all of you


	3. Can we just talk like normal people?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The teacher had to leave the room for a few minutes.  
> This of course results in Leon and Hagakure starting the group chat.  
> Almost everyone is glued to their phones instead of actually talking to the people right next to them.

**Suck My Ultimate Balls Group Chat:**

 

Gettinthirdbase: TEACH IS GONE TIME TO GET KRUNK 

Mary-Wanna: KRUNK IT UP

GayHallMonitor: Shouldn't we study like she said to before she left?

Gettinthirdbase: says the one who's on his phone too

Gettinthirdbase: mondo's bad habits are rubbing off on you

ChokeMe: that's not the only thing that's rubbing off on him ;D

GayHallMonitor: What does she mean by that?

Mary-Wanna: ask mondo

 

GayHallMonitor: Okay!

Gettinthirdbase: 3

Gettinthirdbase: 2

Gettinthirdbase: 1

Shuckmycorn: STOP MAKING HIM ASK ME THIS STUFF

Shuckmycorn: YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES

Mary-Wanna: ha dude i see you blushing over there wanna "taka" bout it???

~

LuckDuck: so this is why mondo is attacking hiro right now

Fuckthisguy: I figured as much.

HackmeDaddy: shouldn't we help taka and leon break them up?

Ludenburger: they'll settle it

~

Gettinthirdbase: WOW THANKS FOR THE HELP GUYS

Gettinthirdbase: SUCH GOOD FRIENDS

Ludenburger: you're welcome

Mary-Wanna: i thought he was gonna kill me Q ~ Q

Shuckmycorn: oh don't be such a bitch i grabbed your shirt collar and threw you backward

Shuckmycorn: no bruises and nothings broken deal with it

GayHallMonitor: That's not a proper way to settle a dispute though kyoudai!

GayHallMonitor: Please try not to do it again I wouldn't want you to get in trouble.

Shuckmycorn: okay okay i won't i promise

Gettinthirdbase: *cough* whipped *cough*

Shuckmycorn: we're not talking about that shit again

LuckDuck: are you okay hiro?

Mary-Wanna: yeah yeah i'm cool i'm fine

Weebtastic: but you're shaking right next to me like you saw a ghost hagakure 

Mary-Wanna: I'M FINE

PROteen: may i ask why we are chatting on our phones instead of verbally speaking?

Gettinthirdbase: i'm too lazy to open my mouth

ChokeMe: doesn't stop you from sucking hiro's dick tho

Gettinthirdbase: JILL GO AWAY

Mary-Wanna: why does everyone think we're gay???? D:

GayHallMonitor: I assume for the same reasons people think that about Mondo and I!

Gettinthirdbase: nah dude i see you two holding hands over there we're not on your level

Shuckmycorn: we're just comfortable like this GOD DAMMIT

BitchesloveDonuts: can you two make out already good lord

BitchesloveDonuts: i can feel your sexual tension from here

Shuckmycorn: CAN WE STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS

ChokeMe: i bet they call each other bro when they're making sweet sweet love ;D

Shuckmycorn: I'M DRAWING A FUCKING LINE

GayHallMonitor: AS AM I

Gettinthirdbase: draw lines all you want we'll never stop crossing them

GayHallMonitor: That's quite rude of you.

Gettinthirdbase: what can i say? imma rude dude :p

21Guns: not something to be proud of

Hot-Kyouko: i really don't think we should pry into taka and mondo's sex life

Shuckmycorn: WE DON'T HAVE A SEX LIFE

GayHallMonitor: Stop these accusations!

BitchesloveDonuts: nah

PsychoSayaka: why are we talking on here instead of actually talking?

Gettinthirdbase: i'm lazy

PsychoSayaka: what's everybody else's excuse?

LuckDuck: it's kinda funny

Mary-Wanna: i'm lazy too

Fuckthisguy: I wanted to see what Makoto was laughing at.

Ludenburger: just curiosity 

Hot-Kyouko: i wanted to see what celeste was giggling at

Ludenburger: i wasn't giggling

Hot-Kyouko: it was kind of cute don't worry about it

ChokeMe: YAAAAS MORE GAYS

21Guns: ugh jill put your tongue away it's touching my neck

ChokeMe: you know you like it baby

21Guns: gross

PsychoSayaka: glad i cleared that up

Mary-Wanna: WAIT THE TEACH IS BACK ABORT ABORT

Weebtastic: TRANSFORM AND ROLL OUT

_5 Minutes Later:_

Gettinthirdbase: hey guys

Gettinthirdbase: guys 

Gettinthirdbase: GUYS

Mary-Wanna: i'm here wassup

21Guns: don't talk during class you morons 

Gettinthirdbase: you don't control me

21Guns: when you two get in trouble don't go complaining then

Mary-Wanna: you were saying man?

Gettinthirdbase: i just wanted to know if everyone wanted to party at my place tonight

Gettinthirdbase: it's friday and my parents are away it's gonna be LIT

Mary-Wanna: hell yeah dude i'll go :D

Gettinthirdbase: sweet i guess i'll ask the rest of these chumps later

Gettinthirdbase: paying attention to class like a bunch of dorks

Mary-Wanna: they really don't know how to live

Gettinthirdbase: damn straight

PyschoSayaka: says the ones who're talking on their phones when they're right next to each other


	4. Things Got a "LITTLE" out of Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the morning after Leon's party and everyone is feeling all kinds of awful and awkward about what transpired.

**Suck My Ultimate Balls Group Chat**

 

Mary-Wanna: uggggggghhhh my head hurts

BitchesloveDonuts: hey you're the one who supplied the booze this is your fault

Mary-Wanna: i couldn't say no to leon he asked so nicely and he was really excited D;

21Guns: it's seven in the effing morning stop flooding my phone with notifs

Mary-Wanna: you're not my mom D:<

HackmeDaddy: i don't really remember much :c

ChokeMe: guys guys guys you will NOT believe what i got a photo of

PROteen: i have a vague memory of last night...i think i know where this is going

Shuckmycorn: ugh god it's fuckin early who gives a shit?

GayHallMonitor: i must admit i'm feeling quite groggy myself

Shuckmycorn: yeah i can tell you're not bothering with capitalizing shit 

GayHallMonitor: well not only that it's hard to focus with your breath on my neck

Ludenburger: i'm not sure i want to know

Gettinthisbase: heeeeeey guys whats this about a photo????

ChokeMe: here it is ;D

ChokeMe: 

BitchesloveDonuts: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH SHIT

GayHallMonitor: ohmygodohmdyoshgoshohononnononononono

LuckDuck: taka.exe has stopped working

Shuckmycorn: WHATTHEFUCK WHAT DID I DO???????????????

ChokeMe: well obviously you gave the hall monitor a little kissy kissy ;D

Shuckmycorn: NO FUCKING SHIT 

Fuckthisguy: Honestly I saw this coming.

Hot-Kyoko: so did I

HackmeDaddy: oh my... o/////o

Gettinthirdbase: HOT DAMN GET IT YOU TWO

GayHallMonitor: SHUT UP

Shuckmycorn: SHUT UP GO SHOVE A BASEBALL UP YOUR ASS

Gettinthirdbase: how mean ;c

Ludenburger: may i ask what lead up to that moment?

BitchesloveDonuts: and what happened after? c;

ChokeMe: OH GLADLY

ChokeMe: we were all dancing around after a few drinks and those two were all up on each other

ChokeMe: i had my camera on my phone out to record and got a snapshot of that kiss which led to some making out in front of EVERYONE

ChokeMe: everyone was cheering them on and eventually they went off to a hall closet together

ChokeMe: it's a blur after that

BitchesloveDonuts: WOOOOAH THEY GOT IT ON

GayHallMonitor: WE DID NOT "GET IT ON"

Shuckmycorn: jesus i'm remembering now

Shuckmycorn: we didn't screw but uh

Shuckmycorn: im not typing it here i'll just tell you irl

ChokeMe: AWWW no fair D;

Mary-Wanna: i'm mega curious now too

21Guns: i just wanted to sleep but now i'm invested

HackmeDaddy: me too i'm glad they finally expressed their feelings :D

Ludenburger: that's one way of putting it

GayHallMonitor: oh my god no wonder my mouth tastes different.

Weebtastic: oh no i'm scared but the curiosity is painful D:

BitchesloveDonuts: OH SHIT HE BLEW HIM

ChokeMe: YES MY FANTASIES ARE COMING TRUE

Shuckmycorn: FUCK OFF YOU WEIRDO

Shuckmycorn: taka WHY did you type that here please lets just go back to sleep

GayHallMonitor: okay kyoudai we can discuss this more later on

LuckDuck: awww are you guys gonna cuddle? Q u Q

GayHallMonitor: well of course! it strengthens our bond!

21Guns: that's one way of putting it

Shuckmycorn: WE'RE GOING BACK TO SLEEP BYE GUYS

Gettinthirdbase: well that was awesome

Mary-Wanna: it's about time

ChokeMe: the same can be said about you two

Ludenburger: it can?

ChokeMe: i didn't get to capture it cause my battery ran out

ChokeMe: but they ended up kissing too

ChokeMe: not as intensely as ishimondo but close

ChokeMe: we had TWO make out sessions going on in front of us

BitchesloveDonuts: hot damn

Gettinthirdbase: we did WHAT?

PsychoSayaka: of all things to wake up to i didn't think it would be this

LuckDuck: yeah last night was pretty crazy

ChokeMe: i'll say you and master we're kissing up a storm

Fuckthisguy: Why do you keep adding onto the list of kissing sessions one at a time?

ChokeMe: for the element of sexy surprise ;D

Fuckthisguy: Of course your reason would make no damn sense.

LuckDuck: how embarrassing we're not usually like that o///o

Fuckthisguy: at least not when we're in public

LuckDuck: BYAKUYA O _____ O

BitchesloveDonuts: OOOOOOooooOOOOooo things are getting steamy in this chat 

21Guns: i'm going back to sleep

PsychoSayaka: yeah same i'm gonna pass out

PROteen: everyone rest up and drink some water or ginger ale to recover yourself

BitchesloveDonuts: you got it babe <3

PROteen: <3

LuckDuck: awww cute

Gettinthirdbase: peace out guys...i have to think about things

Mary-Wanna: yeah same...

ChokeMe: bye bye gays ;D

 

 

 


	5. Stupid Memes and Gay Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some of the crew are coming to terms with the fact they like dick

**Suck My Ultimate Balls Group Chat:**

Mary-Wanna: ugggh i just woke up what year is it?

21Guns: dude your time is on your phone

Mary-Wanna: oh goooood it's three thirty pm

Mary-Wanna: the world feels hazy and spinny

PROteen: you should probably go easier on the alcohol next time hiro

Mary-Wanna: yeah i gueeesssssss ;c

ChokeMe: oh fuck all of that have you come to terms with the fact you like dick?

Mary-Wanna: i'm going back to sleep

PsychoSayaka: you give up quick dude

Gettinthirdbase: HIRO NO DON'T LEAVE ME D;

Mary-Wanna: uggggggggggh fine

ChokeMe: have you come to terms that you like dick leon?

Gettinthirdbase: we're not getting into this go away

HackmeDaddy: is everyone feeling better now? 

PsychoSayaka: a bit of a headache but i'm coping 

Weebtastic: had some ginger ale while i was drawing some new art at the library :D

GayHallMonitor: What did you draw Hifumi?

Weebtastic: oh well uh i don't think you'd like it

GayHallMonitor: Oh I'm sure it's fine! I'm not ALL rules and homework you know!

Ludenburger: there are seriously no other aspects to you 

PsychoSayaka: yeaaaaaaaah i have to agree

Shuckmycorn: HEY HEY HEY TAKA HAS GREAT QUALITIES

Shuckmycorn: he's a good listener, he believes in his friends, he's honest, he's down to earth, and only wants people to follow the rules because he cares about them. he pushes me to do my best and honestly just makes my life a hell of a lot better than it ever was

Shuckmycorn: seriously the best person i've ever met

ChokeMe: ohmYGOD THE GAY IS OFF THE CHARTS 

ChokeMe: I'M GONNA GET A NOSEBLEED HAHA 

Hot-Kyoko: that was actually really really sweet mondo

21Guns: like wow holy shit didn't know you had it in you

BitchesloveDonuts: THAT'S SO FUCKING CUTE I'M CRYING IN THE CLUB

PsychoSayaka: awwww that's precious :D

LuckDuck: awwww that was adorable Q u Q

Fuckthisguy: It wasn't the most eloquent way of putting it but I must say for you it was a small step up.

HackmeDaddy: AWWWW MONDO ; u ;

Shuckmycorn: EVERYONE STOP IT

GayHallMonitor: Mondo that was all so kind of you to say! Thank you!

Shuckmycorn: just say thank you to my face you dork i'm right next to you

Shuckmycorn: and your face is redder than your eyes ;D

GayHallMonitor: OKAY I WILL

Gettinthirdbase: when did everything get so gay?

ChokeMe: i would say when you all made out at the party last night but yall were already dripping with gay vibes before then

Mary-Wanna: WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT THE PARTY

Weebtastic: hey i was ignored does nobody want to know what i drew? D:

Ludenburger: no ishimondo outshines you in every possible way

Weebtastic: well i guess i won't show you the pic i took of them at the library today

21Guns: you WHAT

BitchesloveDonuts: WOAH DUDE NICE

Weebtastic: thank you :3

LuckDuck: feels a little envasive

ChokeMe: SHOW ME SHOW ME SHOW ME SHOW ME

Weebtastic: 

ChokeMe: MMMMMM THATS SOME GOOD GAY SHIT RIGHT THERE

BitchesloveDonuts: dude woah they accepted the gay quick

Shuckmycorn: WHAT THE HELL DUDE

GayHallMonitor: THAT WAS A PRIVATE MOMENT HIFUMI

Weebtastic: i had to i'm sorry mistress paid me to do it D:

Fuckthisguy: She did?

LuckDuck: CELESTE??

BitchesloveDonuts: #Exposed

Hot-Kyoko: okay i'm concerned just why

Ludenburger: okay look i have these kinds of needs too okay?

Shuckmycorn: THAT'S NOT AN EXCUSE DAMMIT

Shuckmycorn: can't even kiss my boyfriend in peace smh

ChokeMe: BOYFRIEND? DID YOU JUST SAY BOYFRIEND???

ChokeMe: AHEDwlhsjhfjweshkfhs

BitchesloveDonuts: YES DUDE LET'S CELEBRATE

LuckDuck: aww congrats you guys :D

Hot-Kyoko: you owe me fifty bucks togami

Fuckthisguy: Ugh fine I'll pay you at school on Monday.

Hot-Kyoko: pleasure doing business with you

21Guns: it's about time jesus christ

GayHallMonitor: MONDO I DIDN'T KNOW WE WERE REVEALING IT SO SOON

GayHallMonitor: WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?

Shuckmycorn: so i could make you a blushing mess again

Shuckmycorn: it's the cutest god damn thing ever

GayHallMonitor: I...we need a moment everyone. Please excuse us.

PyschoSayaka: i bet they're making out

BitchesloveDonuts: oh for sure

LuckDuck: they're so sweet together i can't stop smiling

Fuckthisguy: Yes I can see that. It's quite adorable

ChokeMe: MMMM DROWN ME IN THE HOMO

Fuckthisguy: For the love of god stop it.

Gettinthirdbase: yes pleassse stop i can't deal

21Guns: that's just because you can't stop thinking about your kiss at the party last night

Gettinthirdbase: NOT TALKING ABOUT IT

Mary-Wanna: yeah let's not ;x

ChokeMe: did i mention there was neck biting? leon was thirsty af

Mary-Wanna: so THATS where these bruises came from

Gettinthirdbase: OKAY WE'RE DONE TALKING ABOUT IT

 

 


	6. Leon's power hungry and done with everyone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leon has too much power HE NEEDS TO BE STOPPED

**Leon is the King of this Group Chat:**

 

21Guns: ummm since when was that the group chat name?

Gettinthirdbase: since now 

ChokeMe: who died and made you king?

Gettinthirdbase: i made the chat dammit so I'M THE ULTIMATE KING NOW

BitchesloveDonuts: is hiro your queen? ;D

Gettinthirdbase: fite me donut girl

BitchesloveDonuts: let's go bro bring it on (ง •̀3•́)ง

Gettinthirdbase: i've got some strong arms from pitching lets square up (ง •̀_•́)ง

PROteen: i will crush every bone in your body leon

Gettinthirdbase: okay nevermind lets not

PsychoSayaka: heh chicken

ChokeMe: so do you like dick or what?

Gettinthirdbase: i'll kick you from this i swear to god

Gettinthirdbase: you know what i have a better idea

_ChokeMe's name has been changed to UglyPig_

Gettinthirdbase: since that's what you think people think of you

Gettinthirdbase: enjoy that name for the rest of time

UglyPig: YOU SON OF A BITCH

LuckDuck: feels kinda mean

Shuckmycorn: she deserves it tbh

GayHallMonitor: I have to admit I feel bad as well Mondo. Nobody deserves name calling.

Shuckmycorn: yeah you're right sorry 

_Shuckmycorn's name has been changed to Whipped_

Whipped: WOW OKAY REAL DAMN MATURE

GayHallMonitor: Is him being whipped a bad thing? If so I feel bad I don't want to control him!

Whipped: you're not controlling me babe you're fine

GayHallMonitor: But you always try to conform to what will make me happy...I want you to be honest.

GayHallMonitor: That's one of the reasons I fell in love with you.

21Guns: daaaaaaw

Weebtastic: they really hog the chat

BitchesloveDonuts: i'm not complaining o 3 o

UglyPig: me neither it's SO GOOD

Whipped: that's so fucking sweet holy shit

Whipped: okay babe i'll be honest from now on

UglyPig: these guys are gonna fucking kill me

GayHallMonitor: Go ahead and say things you've been holding back right now!

Whipped: you got it <3

_Gettinthirdbase changed their name to donewiththisshit_

Mary-Wanna: eternal mood

Ludenburger: same

21Guns: same tbh

Whipped: Mukuro needs to lighten the fuck up, hiro and leon need to man the fuck up and admit their damn feelings, toko just needs to fuck off in general

Whipped: togami can go jump off a bridge and i really REALLY don't like studying on saturday nights babe

Whipped: the snacks you make for our study sessions are fucking bomb tho

GayHallMonitor: Thank you Mondo. Although some of that was mean your honesty was refreshing. <3

donewiththisshit: NO IT WASN'T HE'S AN ASSHOLE

Whipped: oh like you're so fucking charming

_Whipped's name has been changed to Asshole_

Asshole: oh so mature whatever

Hot-Kyoko: come on you two this isn't necessary

21Guns: someone's salty

_GayHallMonitor's name has been changed to GayControlFreak_

Asshole: HEY YOU STOP THAT

GayControlFreak: I know I can sometimes come off as controlling but I just want everyone to do their best. 

PROteen: i don't really think that was necessary leon

donewiththisshit: it's fun and nobody can stop me

Asshole: CHANGE HIS NAME

_GayControlFreak's name has been changed to GayKissAss_

Asshole: YOU'RE FUCKING ASKING FOR IT

21Guns: those aren't even creative

PsychoSayaka: i think he's jealous

LuckDuck: jealous of what?

Hot-Kyoko: obviously that mondo and taka are in a happy and supportive relationship and he's not

Ludenburger: ah i see it's because he's too afraid to face his true feelings

Ludenburger: what a weakling

donewiththisshit: THAT IS NOT IT

Fuckthisguy: Oh it definitely is.

Fuckthisguy's name has been changed to Makoto'sSugarDaddy

BitchesloveDonuts: accurate

Makoto'sSugarDaddy: Oh please. Just own up to your feelings and quit playing these immature games.

donewiththisshit: you can't make me

Mary-Wanna: leon let's meet up and talk things out alright?

Mary-Wanna: i hate seeing you so upset :c

HackmeDaddy: please listen to him leon ; _ ;

donewiththisshit: okay

21Guns: that was easy

PROteen: well of course he'd listen to him

Makoto'sSugarDaddy: He should've spoken up sooner.

Mary-Wanna: sorry i nodded off

LuckDuck: you're STILL tired??

Mary-Wanna: that's what booze does to me man

BitchesloveDonuts: things aren't funny anymore we need some fun in this chat

HackmeDaddy: what should we do?

BitchesloveDonuts: hmmmmmmmm

BitchesloveDonuts: I KNOW 

BitchesloveDonuts: you could hack and change all of our names

BitchesloveDonuts: block leon from his control

donewiththisshit: awww man seriously?

Mary-Wanna: sounds funny :D doitdoitdoitdoit

HackmeDaddy: okay i'll get started ^-^

21Guns: at least we're in good innocent hands

Asshole: yeah thank god

GayKissAss: I'm sure the names he chooses for us will be overflowing with a positive spirit!

_donewiththisshit's name has been changed to 2kool4skool_

_LuckDuck's name has been changed to smol-nugget_

_Hot-Kyoko's name has been changed to Sherlock_

_GayKissAss's name has been changed to ILoveMondo_

_Mary-Wanna's name has been changed to tall-medium_

_Asshole's name has been changed to ILoveTaka_

_21Gun's name has been changed to SevenNationArmy_

_Weebtastic's name has been changed to M'Lady_

_Ludenburger's name has been changed to Milky_

_BitchesloveDonut's name has been changed to LifeDonut_

_Makoto'sSugarDaddy's name has been changed to MakinitRain_

_UglyPig's name has been changed to Yaoi-is-life_

_PROteen's name has been changed to Sakura-Tree_

_PsychoSayaka's name has been changed to Vocaloid_

_HackmeDaddy's name has been changed to sweet-transvestite_

ILoveTaka: um chihiro isn't that sort of dragging yourself?

sweet-transvestite: absolutely but i like the song so fuck it why not?

ILoveMondo: CHIHIRO LANGUAGE

Vocaloid: he's been around mondo too much

LifeDonut: anyways these names are LIT FAM

Milky: seriously? milky?

M'Lady: excuse me do you see a fedora on my head???

SevenNationArmy: let's be real you'd totally wear one and it wouldn't be ironically 

M'Lady: well

M'Lady: tru

Yaoi-is-life: pffft she's gonna HATE this name

Sherlock: i could get used to this

MakinitRain: I'm not even going to dignify mine with a response

smol-nugget: i like mine :D

tall-medium: ME TOO I love the pun :p

sweet-transvestite: thanks guys i tried my best <3

2kool4skool: i hate that this is accurate

 

 


	7. The Waifu and Husbando War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On a lovely Sunday Chihiro brings up Persona 5. It's all downhill from there.  
> No major spoilers. <3

**The Ultimate Memers Group Chat:**

 

2kool4skool: nice name you picked out there nerd

sweet-transvestite: hey HEY

sweet-transvestite: everybody appreciates memes

LifeDonut: even togami?

MakinitRain: No. Absolutely not. I wouldn't get involved in something so childish.

tall-medium: aw come on toges it's totally normal for kids to meme it up :D

MakinitRain: If that's the case then why do you get involved?

tall-medium: guess i'm still in touch with my inner child

Yaoi-is-life: or you're just stupid

tall-medium: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Yaoi-is-life: see you couldn't even make a come back cause you're so dumb!

Yaoi-is-life: wait WHAT HAPPENED TO MY NAME?

SevenNationArmy: chihiro hacked in and changed it

sweet-transvestite: #Exposed

Yaoi-is-life: CHANGE IT I WOULD NEVER PARTAKE IN SOMETHING SO DISGUSTING

smol-nugget: it's really not gross tho toko 

ILoveMondo: I must agree with Naegi on this! 

Yaoi-is-life: NOBODY CARES WHAT YOU THINK YOU GAY PREFECT

M'Lady: be careful fukawa you'll piss off mondo O - O

Yaoi-is-life: he won't do jack shit to me cause i'm a girl 

ILoveTaka: I'LL MAKE AN EXCEPTION IF YOU KEEP PICKING ON HIM

Yaoi-is-life: TRY ME BITCH (ง'̀-'́)ง

Vocaloid: take it easy you guys ; n ;

ILoveMondo: It's okay kyoudai! I can handle some criticism. I've had plenty of it my whole life so I can manage!

Sakura-Tree: wow 

sweet-transvestite: that's really sad Q _ Q

Milky: not surprising honestly

smol-nugget: i wanna give him a hug ༼ つ ಥ_ಥ ༽つ

ILoveTaka: i'm coming over right now

ILoveMondo: Why kyoudai?

ILoveTaka: to give you the biggest fucking hug ever that's why

ILoveMondo: Aw that's so sweet of you! Thank you. <3

ILoveTaka: <3

LifeDonut: gay

SevenNationArmy: so gay

Vocaloid: double gay

smol-nugget: triple gay

Sherlock: quadruple gay

tall-medium: whatever comes after that gay

M'Lady: good job ^

ILoveTaka: ok guys i'll be afk for a bit while i'm driving

ILoveTaka: later~

tall-medium: see ya man

2kool4skool: bye corn cob

ILoveMondo: See you soon Mondo. <3

ILoveTaka: <3

sweet-transvestite: okay since that gay matter is out of the way

sweet-transvestite: i need to fanboy over persona 5

smol-nugget: OH MY GOD YES YOU READ MY MIND

Vocaloid: i just finished madarame's palace and let me say

Vocaloid: yusuke is ultimate husband material

sweet-transvestite: mmmmmm yusuke

smol-nugget: he's so pretty i could cry ; _ ;

MakinitRain: Are we seriously talking about video games now?

sweet-transvestite: yeah deal with it 

smol-nugget: i'm sorry byakuya it's just so good 

MakinitRain: Is this why you've been coming over less?

smol-nugget: ..............

smol-nugget: I'M SORRY I'VE BEEN TRYING TO BEAT THE REAPER FOR THREE DAYS NOW

MakinitRain: Okay I'm not sure what that means but...it's fine I guess?

smol-nugget: thank you babe

sweet-transvestite: makoto bby you should just give up

Vocaloid: yeah i've watched grinding sessions online of people trying to beat him

Vocaloid: it's a very long and gruesome process unless you cheat during flu season

smol-nugget: I REFUSE TO CHEAT I'M A HONEST WINNER

Life-Donut: of course you are

Life-Donut: but let's be real there's something we all want to know about each other

Milky: what would that be?

Life-Donut: our ultimate husbandos and waifus obviously

Life-Donut: EVERYONE LIST THEM. AND...........GO. I'LL START.

Life-Donuts: my waifu is Ann and my husbando is Ryuji

Milky: so basic

Life-Donuts: DON'T DUMB THEM DOWN THEY'RE PRECIOUS

sweet-transvestite: my waifu is futaba and my husbando is mishima

M'Lady: that sounds accurate for you!

M'Lady: no husbando but my waifu is DEFINITELY HARU

Vocaloid: haven't gotten to meet her yet but i saw pictures she's a cutie (✿´‿`)

LifeDonut: oh come on hifumi if you HAD to pick a husbando who would it be??? O 3 O

M'Lady: well if i must i'd pick yusuke

tall-medium: because he's an artist like you?

M'Lady: well yeah! and i do have to admit he's good looking

Yaoi-is-life: only difference is yusuke's art is beautiful AND YOU DRAW TRASH

M'Lady: i'm wounded D:

Yaoi-is-life: well anyway if anybody cares i like futaba and yusuke

tall-medium: i like chihiya and yusuke personally :D

2kool4skool: takemi and yusuke for me

LifeDonut: damn yusuke gets all the ladies (and bois) 

Sakura-Tree: ryuji and makoto are my personal favorites

LifeDonut: i converted her to the ryuji side <3

Vocaloid: my husbando is yusuke obviously and my waifu is Hifumi she's such a sweetheart <3

smol-nugget: my waifu is makoto and husbando is pretty boi yusuke ; u ;

LifeDonut: yusuke is pretty gorgeous and his personality is adorable af not gonna lie

Milky: if i must get involved my wife is Sae and my husband is akechi

smol-nugget: i should've known they were your type

LifeDonut: akechi is a detective after all...and we happen to be friends with a certain detective ;D

Milky: SHUT UP

Sherlock: so adorable

Milky: ugh whatever

Sherlock: well honestly i'd go with makoto and mishima

2kool4skool: huh really? i thought you'd be an akechi type

Sherlock: a bit too arrogant for my tastes but i'll admit he's pretty

LifeDonut: damn right he's pretty

SevenNationArmy: i'm a makoto and ryuji girl myself

Vocaloid: she does look really bae material <3

ILoveMondo: Sorry I've been away for awhile! Mondo and I have been hanging out.

LifeDonut: "hanging out" huh? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

ILoveTaka: get that lenny face out of here

LifeDonut: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

ILoveTaka: hina i swear to god

2kool4skool: a lenny face in my good christian chat? it's more likely than you think

ILoveMondo: Is that a "meme" Leon?

2kool4skool: it sure is taka

ILoveTaka: well anyway let me get in on this and say i like ryuji and ann

Milky: another basic bitch over here

ILoveTaka: HEY

LifeDonuts: SAME HERE MONDO

LifeDonuts: SQUAD (•_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■)

ILoveTaka: SQUAD 

LifeDonuts: COME ON YOU DO IT TOO

ILoveTaka: (•_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■)

ILoveTaka: squad

LifeDonuts: better :D

MakinitRain: You're all insufferable. 

tall-medium: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

2kool4skool: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

LifeDonut: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

sweet-transvestite: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

MakinitRain: I rest my case.

ILoveMondo: Oh may I tell you all of my favorite boy and girl from Persona 5 as well?

smol-nugget: you like it too taka?

ILoveMondo: Mondo and I have been have been binge watching a playthrough together!

ILoveMondo: I've grown to like it quite a lot!

LifeDonuts: aw that's great who's your favorites?? o3o

ILoveMondo: I must say most of the girls are lovely but I've grown quite attached to Makoto!

ILoveTaka: i mean same she is pretty badass

SevenNationArmy: i totally get it i want her to step on me

2kool4skool: damn mukuro o _ o

ILoveMondo: And boy wise there were limited options but I loved Mishima the most!

ILoveTaka: he is super adorable...reminds me of someone i know

ILoveMondo: <3

ILoveTaka: <3

sweet-transvestite: gay times a thousand

smol-nugget: hey hey guys let me let you guys in on something

smol-nugget: byakuya has watched me play once before and let me just say

smol-nugget: he'd die for yusuke

MakinitRain: Don't go spreading ridiculous rumors Makoto!

LifeDonuts: #EXPOSED

sweet-transvestite: get rekt togami 

ILoveTaka: guess you're not as different from us as you claimed to be 

MakinitRain: THIS CONVERSATION IS OVER.

smol-nugget: HE WAS UPSET WE COULDN'T DATE HIM

MakinitRain: THIS CONVERSATION IS OVER.

 


	8. Who Invited Cloud Boy and OJ Boy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SevenNationArmy: is it gayer in here or is it just me?  
> smol-nugget: well yeah it's you too but  
> smol-nugget: i think it's mostly them  
> Cloud_Boy: can i join in and say hajime's dick is SO amazing???  
> OJ-Slut: nagito no

**The Ultimate Memer's Group Chat:**

 

sweet-transvestite: hey guys did you have a good day? ^_^

ILoveTaka: i wanna strangle who invented mondays

2kool4skool: don't you mean MONDOdays? :p

ILoveTaka: i will hit you SO FUCKING HARD

ILoveMondo: Come on Mondo just TAKAbout it with him.

SevenNationArmy: i can't believe taka joined the dark side

ILoveTaka: nice one bro <3

2kool4skool: why aren't you mad at him?? 

ILoveTaka: it's cute when he does it

ILoveMondo: Thank you bro <3

sweet-transvestite: ishimondo being the light of my life? it's more likely than you think

LifeDonut: speaking of gays did you and hiro talk things out leon?

2kool4skool: HAHA funny

tall-medium: yeah we did and we're going on our first date this friday :D

2kool4skool: DUDE WE WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO TELL THEM YET

tall-medium: woops ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

LifeDonut: AASKHFDKJHFKJASHKDHFKLHASK

Yaoi-is-life: YES THE GAY POPULATION HAS INCREASED

2kool4skool: god dammit i was trying to avoid this mess

ILoveTaka: i feel you man 

ILoveTaka: you can't escape no matter how hard you try

SevenNationArmy: oh please like you're trying to escape

SevenNationArmy: admit it you guys love at least SOME of the attention

ILoveMondo: When the attention isn't creepy then yes we do!

ILoveTaka: taka noooooooo

ILoveMondo: Taka yes!

Vocaloid: cuties (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

_Cloud_Boy has been added to the chat_

Milky: um

_OJ-Slut has been added to the chat_

Milky: UM

SevenNationArmy: ???

smol-nugget: i think we can tell who they are by their names guys

OJ-Slut: um hey guys

Yaoi-is-life: more gays got invited???

Yaoi-is-life: I'M NOT COMPLAINING

Cloud_Boy: hi everyone! i hope i don't bother you too much

MakinitRain: May I ask who invited them here?

tall-medium: chihiro did take control of the chat <.<

sweet-transvestite: hehe yeah tru 

sweet-transvestite: i thought we could spice things up a bit and invite some other students ^ _ ^

2kool4skool: oh no

Cloud_Boy: how nice of you fujisaki! as expected of the ultimate programmer!

OJ-Slut: that's cool of you i guess it'd be nice to get to know each other

sweet-transvestite: you're damn right it'll be nice

ILoveMondo: Chihiro language!

OJ-Slut: i'm gonna take a wild guess and say that's ishimaru?

sweet-transvestite: that's right oj boi

ILoveMondo: Guys we should let them know who we all are to avoid confusion!

Cloud_Boy: that'd be nice ヽ(‘ ∇‘ )ノ

Sakura-Tree: i'm sakura oogami

LifeDonut: aoi asahina here~ ;D

2kool4skool: i'm leon sup

tall-medium: yasuhiro hagakure BOI

MakinitRain: Togami.

Milky: Celestia Ludenburg <3

SevenNationArmy: mukuro ikusaba up in this bitch

smol-nugget: makoto 

Yaoi-is-life: I'M JACK RIGHT NOW BITCHES

Yaoi-if-life: the other me is a boring stuttery mess aka toko 

Vocaloid: Sayaka (◠‿◠✿)

M'Lady: Hifumi :D

ILoveTaka: mondo 

OJ-Slut: thanks for clearing that up guys

Cloud_Boy: we might've been able to guess from the names tho

OJ-Slut: they saved us the trouble

OJ-Slut: btw what are these names fujisaki???

sweet-transvestite: idk i thought they were accurate

OJ-Slut: i mean yeah nagito's is accurate i call him cloud boy a lot

OJ-Slut: wait is this about that ONE time orange juice came out of my nose at lunch?

smol-nugget: that's probably it

sweet-transvestite: that's it

OJ-Slut: god dammit

Cloud_Boy: sorry for making you laugh so hard that day hajime :c

Cloud_Boy: gosh i'm just the worst

OJ-Slut: no it's okay baby it wasn't your fault don't worry

LifeDonut: baby? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

OJ-Slut: shit

Yaoi-is-life: YES THIS IS JUST WHAT I WANTED

ILoveMondo: Jack you're gonna scare them away!

Yaoi-is-life: SHUT UP KISS ASS

ILoveTaka: EXCUSE ME?????

Vocaloid: uh oh

LifeDonut: it's about to go DOWN

SevenNationArmy: *grabs popcorn*

Yaoi-is-life: yeah i called him a kiss ass what're you gonna do about it?

ILoveTaka: kick your fucking ass you psycho 

Cloud_Boy: come on you guys we shouldn't fight!

OJ-Slut: is it usually like this?

Sakura-Tree: most of the time yes

ILoveMondo: Jack I won't allow you to upset Mondo any further!

Yaoi-is-life: WHAT'RE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT PREFECT?

ILoveMondo: My muscles aren't for show Jack. I can and will use force if I have to.

Yaoi-is-life: you won't

Vocaloid: i'm scared mukuro hold me ; ~ ;

SevenNationArmy: i mean i can't physically but imagine i am in spirit <3

Vocaloid: thank you <3

LifeDonut: gay

SevenNationArmy: shut up

Yaoi-is-life: so mr.honor student are you gonna square up???

ILoveMondo: Normally I'm against violence used for selfish acts.

ILoveMondo: But I'll make one exception for Mondo.

sweet-transvestite: woah taka O _ O

2kool4skool: holy shit dude

Cloud_Boy: such a surprising move for the ultimate moral compass!

Cloud_Boy: he must really care about you oowada! :D

ILoveTaka: taka are your parents home?

ILoveMondo: No not at the moment!

ILoveTaka: do you think we'd have time to

ILoveTaka: STUDY together?

ILoveTaka: cause holy shit that was amazing

M'Lady: here they go hogging the chat again

Milky: SHUT UP PORKY

M'Lady: D:

ILoveMondo: OF COUROSE WE CAN

ILoveMondo: PLEASE PLEASE COME 

LifeDonut: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

smol-nugget: aoi no

Yaoi-is-life: YES THIS IS AMAZING I'M DROOLING

Yaoi-is-life: I'M NOT EVEN MAD ANYMORE

ILoveTaka: shut up you bitch

ILoveTaka: okay taka i'll be there soon

ILoveTaka: TO STUDY

ILoveMondo: OKAY MONDO I'LL BE WAITING <3333

ILoveTaka: <3

Vocaloid: oh my that really escalated 

LifeDonut: they ain't slick

SevenNationArmy: is it gayer in here or is just me?

smol-nugget: well yeah it's you too but

smol-nugget: i think it's mostly them

Cloud_Boy: can i join in and say hajime's dick is SO amazing???

OJ-Slut: nagito no

Yaoi-is-life: NAGITO YES

M'Lady: AM I THE ONLY STRAIGHT PERSON HERE?

Sherlock: based on my observations yes

Milky: where have you been kyoko?

Sherlock: working a case it went later than i thought it would

Sherlock: you still up to get some tea celeste?

Milky: of course i am i'll pick you up <3

Sherlock: thank you <3

sweet-transvestite: gay

SevenNationArmy: so gay

Cloud_Boy: wow i never knew i had similar preferences to you guys!

smol-nugget: you mean being gay?

smol-nugget: yeah it's pretty wild

OJ-Slut: doesn't fukawa have a thing for togami though?

MakinitRain: Don't remind me.

smol-nugget: well yeah there's that

smol-nugget: but her and my sister have been getting a little friendly lately

Yaoi-is-life: that boring skank doesn't get to have ALL the fun you know ;D

Sakura-Tree: that's concerning

smol-nugget: jack please don't hurt my sister ohmygod PLEASE

Yaoi-is-life: oh don't worry sweet little makoto your sister is safe in my hands 

Yaoi-is-life: i only kill pretty boys after all 

OJ-Slut: that's still pretty bad

Vocaloid: i'm sure toko does her best to keep jack at bay makoto (✿´‿`)

smol-nugget: i hope so ; _ ;

MakinitRain: If you ever need help dealing with her please let me know Makoto.

smol-nugget: thank you <3

2kool4skool: we're such a bunch of sappy gays

tall-medium: oh well ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Cloud_Boy: can we come here more often fujisaki? it's really fun!

OJ-Slut: i mean it's entertaining and you guys seem cool

OJ-Slut: it's a good change of pace from our group chat

LifeDonut: you guys have one too?

Cloud_Boy: yes with our classmates! hajime is an extra amazing bonus though <3

OJ-Slut: you're such a sweetheart <3

sweet-transvestite: gay

sweet-transvestite: but yeah sure i'll make you official members ^.^

Cloud_Boy: thank you so much!

OJ-Slut: thanks man that's cool of you

sweet-transvestite: it's no problem :D

2kool4skool: remember when i had control over this chat?

2kool4skool: those were the days

 


	9. Kinkshame Free Zone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nobody can calm their hormones and some questionable kinks are revealed by a certain cloud boy

**Ultimate Memers Group Chat:**

 

smol-nugget: GUYS WHAT I JUST SAW CAN'T BE UNSEEN

Life-Donut: what happened makoto? 

Vocaloid: what's the matter? :o

smol-nugget: ooooooh god my innocence is DEAD

Sherlock: okay i'm concerned now

2kool4skool: what happened man?

tall-medium: you walk in on someone getting down and dirty? ;D

smol-nugget: OH GOD

tall-medium: holy shit i was right? O_O

smol-nugget: you know the library at school is pretty vacant in the evening right?

smol-nugget: even the librarian isn't there most of the night

SevenNationArmy: yeah?

smol-nugget: well we have a test coming up and i thought i could get some studying done

smol-nugget: and UGGGGGH OH MY GOD

ILoveTaka: MAKOTO LISTEN

ILoveMondo: I'M SORRY IT WAS COMPLETELY INDECENT BEHAVIOUR 

Sherlock: i had a feeling it was them

Vocaloid: oh no o///o

M'Lady: this reminds me of a fanfic i wrote once

sweet-transvestite: huh what happened? 

smol-nugget: TAKA WHY WOULD YOU BLOW HIM IN A LIBRARY?

smol-nugget: IS THIS SOME KINK OF YOURS???

smol-nugget: I WILL NEVER UNSEE WHAT I SAW

MakinitRain: I can't believe you heathens would expose Makoto to such indecencies. 

ILoveTaka: LOOK I'M SORRY IT WAS HEAT OF THE MOMENT

Milky: in a library? surely there are better places for those activites

ILoveMondo: I know I'm quite ashamed of myself. 

smol-nugget: taka i love you but just...WHY

LifeDonut: taka......sweetie you were supposed to be one of the innocent ones

Yaoi-is-life: i guess his boyfriend made him go bad ;D

ILoveMondo: I'm so sorry Makoto I'll try and make it up to you I promise!

Yaoi-is-life: mmmm the bad boy turning his good boy into a naughty boy

Yaoi-is-life: I LOVE THIS TROPE I'M DROOLING

ILoveTaka: SHUT UP YOU'RE MAKING THINGS WORSE

LifeDonut: i can't believe they boned in a library

ILoveTaka: WE DIDN'T BONE

2kool4skool: so seriously tho is that like a kink of yours i'm weirdly curious

ILoveMondo: What's a kink?

SevenNationArmy: oh no

sweet-transvestite: what is a kink though i wanna know too ^^

tall-medium: OH NO

Yaoi-is-life: I'LL TELL YOU

Sherlock: oh no

smol-nugget: please don't ; _ ;

Yaoi-is-life: it's an unusual thing that turns you on during sexual acts

Yaoi-is-life: instead of just the casual vanilla stuff

Yaoi-is-life: i for example love me some blood play ;D

smol-nugget: never touch my sister again

Yaoi-is-life: MAKE ME

ILoveMondo: Oh I see! So feeling turned on when we're doing things in public is a kink?

Yaoi-is-life: HELL YEAH IT IS

ILoveTaka: OKAY NO MORE OF THIS SHIT

sweet-transvestite: oh wow i never knew that before o _ o

ILoveTaka: pretend you never read that chihiro PLEASE

Cloud_Boy: hey guys what are you talking about? ヽ(‘ ∇‘ )ノ

OJ-Slut: nagito we shouldn't get involved in this

Cloud_Boy: but maybe talking about our sexual preferences will bring us all closer!

Milky: i highly doubt that

Sherlock: not happening

Vocaloid: i'd rather not ; - ;

Yaoi-is-life: I'LL JOIN IN

Cloud_Boy: thank you :D

Yaoi-is-life: so cloud boy what's your poison?

OJ-Slut: nagito baby please you don't have to talk about this

Cloud_Boy: it's okay hajime i don't mind talking about it!

Cloud_Boy: well first i love it when he pets and pulls my hair <3

Cloud_Boy: ah thinking about it makes me melt

LifeDonut: nobody asked for this

sweet-transvestite: that actually sounds cute though :D

Sakura-Tree: i have a feeling it doesn't stop there chihiro

ILoveTaka: taka i think we started something we can never stop

ILoveMondo: Should we be concerned?

Yaoi-is-life: MMM THAT'S THE STUFF GAY CLOUD

OJ-Slut: i can't believe this

Cloud_Boy: oh and hajime likes when i dress as a maid!

Yaoi-is-life: OOOOOOO NICE

OJ-Slut: NAGITO

Sherlock: i pegged him as that type

Vocaloid: oh my who knew he had such lewd interests behind closed doors O /// O

SevenNationArmy: i will never be able to unread this conversation

OJ-Slut: HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL?

Cloud_Boy: oh and i must say i love when he gets rough with me the pain is such sweet bliss

Cloud_Boy: i'm so lucky ヽ(‘ ∇‘ )ノ

tall-medium: please tell us that's it

Cloud_Boy: oh one more!

Cloud_Boy: i LOVE getting choked

Cloud_Boy: and especially choking on hajime's dick <3

SevenNationArmy: oh god i need a shower

Vocaloid: i've never felt so unclean ; - ;

Cloud_Boy: MKHASJDHFSJKDHFS

LifeDonut: ???

OJ-Slut: i pet his hair to shut him up

OJ-Slut: he seriously does melt when i do it

ILoveTaka: thank god you stopped that mess

Milky: you mean the mess you and taka started mondo?

ILoveTaka: WE DIDN'T START IT

ILoveMondo: I just asked a simple question I didn't know it would go into a downward spiral!

smol-nugget: i'm gonna go shower i need to wash a lot of things out of my head

OJ-Slut: he's rubbing up on me like a cat i need to take care of this

Yaoi-is-life: oh we ALL know how you'll deal with it ;D

OJ-Slut: NOT LIKE THAT

Cloud_Boy: but hajime i neeeeeeeeed you <333

OJ-Slut: I'M TAKING YOUR PHONE

OJ-Slut: see you later guys

LifeDonut: bye~

SevenNationArmy: later dudes

2kool2skool: they are totally getting it on

Sherlock: oh absolutely


	10. The Gay Battle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ILoveMondo: Your blushing face is really cute right now Mondo.  
> ILoveTaka: YOU'RE DOING THIS ON PURPOSE  
> Cloud_Boy: your blushing face is cute right now too hajime <3  
> OJ-Slut: DON'T COPY HIM

**The Ultimate Gay's Group Chat**

 

2kool4skool: chihiro when did you change the chat name?

sweet-transvestite: while you were all asleep obviously ^_^

SevenNationArmy: well it's not inaccurate we're all pretty gay

M'Lady: what about me??? ;c

Milky: SHUT UP NOBODY CARES ABOUT THE TOKEN STRAIGHT

M'Lady: D:

Yaoi-is-life: it's too hetero in here i don't like it

Yaoi-is-life: we need someone to fix it

LifeDonut: MONDO SAY SOMETHING GAY

ILoveTaka: ....i like dick?

LifeDonut: you didn't even try ; _ ;

smol-nugget: byakuya it's our time to shine :D

MakinitRain: Please don't say anything reckless or inappropriate.

tall-medium: dude that's what this chat is

2kool4skool: do you know how much sex talk we've had here?

Sherlock: i'd say too much

smol-nugget: ANYWAY DID YOU GUYS KNOW...

smol-nugget: Byakuya loves to cuddle me and pet my hair and he'll get sappy and say how much he loves me???

Vocaloid: Daaaaw Q - Q

LifeDonut: Yaaaaaaaaaawn

smol-nugget: ; _ ;

MakinitRain: Excuse me? What was that yawn for?

LifeDonut: that's so...average tho

smol-nugget: rude

sweet-transvestite: she's not wrong tho

ILoveMondo: Aw but I think that's very sweet! Mondo and I like to do that too.

ILoveTaka: <3

ILoveMondo: <3

2kool4skool: HEY LET ANOTHER COUPLE GET THE SPOTLIGHT

2kool4skool: HIRO TELL THEM HOW CUTE WE ARE

tall-medium: ummmmmm

tall-medium: i like holding your hand its warm and nice

LifeDonut: not much of a poet are you?

2kool4skool: dammit YOU HAD ONE JOB HIRO

Vocaloid: can't you tell us how cute you both are leon? c:

2kool4skool: well

2kool4skool: i like petting his hair even tho my hand gets stuck????

Yaoi-is-life: 2/10

sweet-transvestite: savage

Milky: well i'm sure kyouko and i can save this

Sherlock: honestly I think Mondo and Taka beat out everyone

Milky: WHAT NO WE CAN BEAT THOSE LOSERS

Milky: i thought you looked very cute when you blushed today darling <3 <3 <3

Sherlock: thanks you looked cute when you backhanded that waiter

Milky: HE BROUGHT THE WRONG TEA

M'Lady: i know that feel

Milky: UGH DAMMIT

LifeDonut: sucks to suck

LifeDonut: sakura and i can totally win this gay contest O 3 O

Sakura-Tree: should we really turn this into a competition?

LifeDonut: absolutely

sweet-transvestite: i've just been eating popcorn this whole time like a single pringle

SevenNationArmy: same

Vocaloid: same

M'Lady: same ;c

Milky: sucks to suck

Sakura-Tree: hina i love you but we don't need to prove anything to them

Sakura-Tree: i think our strong bond with each other is enough

LifeDonut: Awww Sakura i love you <3

Sakura-Tree: love you too <3

Yaoi-is-life: YES GAY

Yaoi-is-life: BUT I AM NOT QUENCHED YET

Cloud_Boy: hi everyone ヽ(‘ ∇‘ )ノ

OJ-Slut: sup

Yaoi-is-life: YES PERFECT

OJ-Slut: Um????

SevenNationArmy: run while you still can

Yaoi-is-life: GIVE US THE SWEET GAY DETAILS

OJ-Slut: uh of what exactly?

LifeDonut: basically we're trying to see who the cutest gay couple is

LifeDonut: by saying mushy stuff about our partners

OJ-Slut: yeah let's not and say we did

Cloud_Boy: you see hajime is pretty shy with his feelings it's really cute how he gets all flustered <333

ILoveMondo: Aww how sweet! Mondo can get pretty shy too sometimes it's so adorable.

ILoveTaka: BABE NO

OJ-Slut: BABE NO

tall-medium: JINX

ILoveTaka: you owe me a soda

OJ-Slut: dammit

2kool4skool: don't you mean OJ???? ;D

OJ-Slut: shut it

ILoveMondo: Your blushing face is really cute right now Mondo.

ILoveTaka: YOU'RE DOING THIS ON PURPOSE

Cloud_Boy: your blushing face is cute right now too hajime <3

OJ-Slut: DON'T COPY HIM

sweet-transvestite: you guys both make really cute pairs honestly ^-^

Yaoi-is-life: YOU TWO ARE THE FINAL CONTENDERS

Yaoi-is-life: GAY FIGHT COMMENCE

LifeDonut: *chants* GAY FIGHT GAY FIGHT GAY FIGHT

smol-nugget: place your bets folks 

OJ-Slut: again lets not

ILoveTaka: yeah i'm with oj boy on this

ILoveMondo: But a little friendly competition can be fun!

Cloud_Boy: yeah it's just all in good fun!

Cloud_Boy: now allow me to list the reasons why hajime is the best person ever

OJ-Slut: you don't have to and i'm not the best person ever babe please

Cloud_Boy: but you're the best person ever for me i wouldn't want anyone else :D

OJ-Slut: god you are just...so sweet sometimes dammit i love you

Cloud_Boy: i love you too <3

Vocaloid: Awwww ; u ;

Yaoi-is-life: YES GOOD

ILoveTaka: taka you good? i see you typing up a storm over there

LifeDonut: can you read it???

ILoveTaka: he won't let me see

SevenNationArmy: lets shut up and wait it out

ILoveMondo: Mondo you were my first real friend and you took the time to understand me as I did for you. Nobody tried to understand me before you. You made me feel more free to be myself and less weighed down by expectations. I know you said I made you a better person but you made me a better person too. I love you more than anyone. <3

LifeDonut: UM YES HELLO I NEED AN AMBULANCE??? THAT WAS TOO CUTE???

Yaoi-is-life: MMMM YEAH THAT'S THE STUFF YOU GUYS

OJ-Slut: wow um i'm gonna give in

Cloud_Boy: awwww but we could beat that D;

OJ-Slut: i really doubt it

OJ-Slut: i love you but...god they're power couple goals lets be real here

Cloud_Boy: aww fair enough OnO

Cloud_Boy: the reasons i love you is a list far too long to put in a group chat <3

OJ-Slut: <3

Yaoi-is-life: MMM I'M GONNA DIE IT'S SO GOOD

2kool4skool: hey why didn't mondo respond?

smol-nugget: hey taka is mondo there??

tall-medium: takaaaaaaaa

LifeDonut: i think we all know what's happening

smol-nugget: oooooh yeah

OJ-Slut: what?

smol-nugget: think about it for a second 

2kool2skool: wink wink nudge nudge

OJ-Slut: o

Cloud_Boy: guess that means they really win

Cloud_Boy: oh well my luck must have shifted

OJ-Slut: that just means better things are to come right babe?

Cloud_Boy: heh yeah <3

OJ-Slut: <3

LifeDonut: and thus the gay battle of 2k17 ended in an unsurprising ishimondo victory with komahina at a close second

OJ-Slut: we have a ship name?

2kool4skool: you get used to it

 

 

 


	11. Please stop spamming Brain Power for the love of god PLEASE STOP

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA
> 
> am i sorry for this?
> 
> nah

_**Ultimate Gay's Group Chat:** _

 

2kool4skool:  O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

2kool4skool:  O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

2kool4skool:  O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

Sakura-Tree: um leon are you okay?

ILoveTaka: he's spamming fuckin brain power

Sakura-Tree: you mean the noises the guy makes? i...didn't know this was a thing

sweet-transvestite: it's a quality meme ^_^

sweet-transvestite:  O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

M'Lady: IT'S SPREADING

2kool4skool:  O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

tall-medium: I'M JOINING IN

tall-medium:  O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

LifeDonut:  O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

2kool4skool:  O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

MakinitRain: What are idiots doing now?

smol-nugget: UM FUCKING DUH BABE IT'S FUCKING BRAINPOWER

Vocaloid: makoto??? O _ O

ILoveMondo: Makoto it's not like you to throw the f-word around so nonchalantly!

MakinitRain: And since when do you call me babe?

smol-nugget: SINCE NOW I GUESS BABE

smol-nugget:  O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

sweet-transvestite:  O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

LifeDonut:  O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

tall-medium:  O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

ILoveMondo: Makoto are you okay? And another thing what is this spam of letters?

LifeDonut: don't worry taka sweetie i'll link it~ o3o

ILoveTaka: please don't

LifeDonut: [here](O-oooooooooo%20AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U-%20JO-oooooooooooo%20AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A-%20E-eee-ee-eee%20AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A-%20JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo%20EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA) you go ;D

ILoveMondo: Thank you Aoi!

SevenNationArmy: this'll be good

SevenNationArmy:  O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

Sherlock: you too?

Vocaloid: well when in rome :D

Vocaloid:  O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

2kool4skool:  O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

sweet-transvestite:  O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

Milky: this is so childish

smol-nugget:  O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

ILoveMondo: O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

ILoveTaka: TAKA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 

Sherlock: they took him we're too late

smol-nugget: EMBRACE THE MEME

smol-nugget: COME ON BABE

MakinitRain: Are you feeling well Makoto?

Cloud_Boy: ooooo are we spamming brainpower? ヽ(‘ ∇‘ )ノ

OJ-Slut: this chat is a mess please don't make it worse

Cloud_Boy: O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

Cloud_Boy: O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

Cloud_Boy: O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

Cloud_Boy: O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

Cloud_Boy: O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

Cloud_Boy: O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

OJ-Slut: NAGITO STOP

Cloud_Boy: O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

M'Lady: THE MEMES HAVE GONE TOO FAR

Cloud_Boy: O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

Yaoi-is-life: BAN THIS MOTHERFUCKER FROM THE CHAT

Yaoi-is-life: BAN HIM NOW

Cloud_Boy: O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

OJ-Slut: WAIT DON'T 

Cloud_Boy: O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

OJ-Slut: THE BUTTON ON HIS PHONE IS STUCK IT WON'T STOP

LifeDonut: okay okay i'll stop i'm not making this worse than komaeda already did

Cloud_Boy: O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

Cloud_Boy: O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

Cloud_Boy: O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

Cloud_Boy: O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

sweet-transvestite: JUST MAKE HIM TURN HIS PHONE OFF

Cloud_Boy: O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

OJ-Slut: WE'RE TRYING IT WON'T TURN OFF

Cloud_Boy: O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

OJ-Slut: I THINK IT'S GLITCHING OUT

OJ-Slut: SEND HELP

Cloud_Boy: O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

Cloud_Boy: O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

2kool4skool: WE GOT A PHONE DOWN I REPEAT PHONE DOWN

Cloud_Boy: O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

Milky: DUNK IT IN WATER OR THROW IT DOWN STAIRS I DON'T CARE MAKE IT STOP

Cloud_Boy: O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

Cloud_Boy: O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

Cloud_Boy: O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

sweet-transvestite: WE'RE DROWNING IN BRAIN POWER D:

ILoveTaka: THIS IS FUCKING DUMB

ILoveMondo: Poor Komaeda I hope he can buy a new phone replacement.

Cloud_Boy: O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

Cloud_Boy: O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

Yaoi-is-life: YOU'RE USELESS CLOUD BOY

Cloud_Boy: O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

Cloud_Boy: O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

Cloud_Boy: O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

OJ-Slut: HE'S NOT USELESS SHUT UP

OJ-Slut: WE'RE DUNKING IT IN WATER IT'S STILL GOING

Cloud_Boy: O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

Cloud_Boy: O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

Cloud_Boy: O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

smol-nugget: i can't believe his phone is fuckin dead

Cloud_Boy: O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

Cloud_Boy: O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

ILoveTaka: FUCKING FIX IT

OJ-Slut: OKAY WE SMASHED IT WITH A HAMMER

OJ-Slut: IT'S OVER

MakinitRain: Thank God.

2kool4skool: i would say i'm sorry for starting this but i'm really not

2kool4skool: that was hilarious

LifeDonut: say that to komaeda and his busted phone

ILoveMondo: Will he be able to buy a new one Hinata?

OJ-Slut: yeah don't worry about it he swims in cash because of luck

OJ-Slut: he'll probably find a million dollars lying around tonight

ILoveMondo: Well that's good I hope luck is on his side!

smol-nugget: wow his luck cycles sure don't compare to mine :O

MakinitRain: Okay is this Komaru? Because Makoto doesn't make that face.

Vocaloid: yeah he does this ; _ ; a lot

MakinitRain: Fess up Komaru.

smol-nugget: ugggggh okay fine i took bro's phone for fun he's in the shower

Yaoi-is-life: i love you but did you seriously even try to replicate him?

smol-nugget: WELL EXCUSE ME I WAS DISTRACTED BY THE SEA OF BRAIN POWER

OJ-Slut: hey guess what just flew in nagito's bedroom window?

ILoveTaka: no fucking way

OJ-Slut: million dollar bill

tall-medium: HE SHOULD SHARE ITS ONLY FAIR

Milky: that lucky son of a bitch

OJ-Slut: he said you could all come over tonight and we could order a ton of food

OJ-Slut: everyone can have whatever they want

tall-medium: YES I LOVE YOUR BOYFRIEND

2kool4skool: I LOVE HIM MORE

Yaoi-is-life i hate him less than i used too

OJ-Slut: fair enough

Sherlock: see you all later tonight?

ILoveTaka: FUCK YEAH

smol-nugget: i'll let makoto know ^^

sweet-transvestite: catch you all later guys

 


	12. A Very Gay New Year

**The Ultimate Gay's Group Chat**

 

tall-medium: HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS WOOOOOOOO

smol-nugget: HAPPY NEW YEAR HIRO :D

Sherlock: did you all have a fun new years eve?

OJ-Slut: minus nagito's pants catching on fire when we set off fireworks

OJ-Slut: it was pretty fun

LifeDonut: pfft he sent me the video it was HILARIOUS

LifeDonut: he jumped into a giant pile of snow to put his legs out

sweet-transvestite: rip nagito's pants 2k18

2kool4skool: what a tragic loss

smol-nugget: feelsbadman

Cloud_Boy: hajime thought something like that might happen though so he came prepared with a new pair ヽ(‘ ∇‘ )ノ

OJ-Slut: with him you have to be prepared for ANYTHING

OJ-Slut: and i do mean anything

Cloud_Boy: sorry if i'm high maintenance hajime i know it can get annoying

OJ-Slut: babe pls its okay i wanna be there for you and help you because i love you

Cloud_Boy: <3

OJ-Slut: <3

Yaoi-is-life: yeah boy HIT ME WITH THAT GAY SHIT 

Vocaloid: new year same toko/genocide 

Yaoi-is-life: you know it bby

ILoveTaka: another year of my relationship being violated

SevenNationArmy: i feel you mondo

SevenNationArmy: she would not leave me and sayaka alone last night

LifeDonut: WOAH WOAH WOAH

LifeDonut: BACK THE FUCK UP

SevenNationArmy: what? i thought we were kind of obvious

sweet-transvestite: well yeah but not taka and mondo level obvious we're all dense af

Milky: some more dense than others

MakinitRain: Indeed.

ILoveMondo: Mondo are we too obvious?

ILoveTaka: absolutely

SevenNationArmy: anyways before i was interrupted yeah we were at a new years eve party together

Vocaloid: last night was our first date and we kissed at midnight <3

SevenNationArmy: genocide cackling in the background kind of killed it tho

Yaoi-is-life: its what i do best besides slicing up pretty boys

Sakura-Tree: i'm just curious but why have none of us ever thought of turning her in?

LifeDonut: eh there haven't been any new killings lately

Milky: plus she's entertaining

Sakura-Tree: those aren't very good reasons...

smol-nugget: hey guys i know its off topic

smol-nugget: but can komaru join the group chat?

Yaoi-is-life: YES

sweet-transvestite: yeah sure i'll invite her just pm me her chat name ^_^

smol-nugget: thanks 

smol-nugget: she would not stop bugging me about it since she joined you the other day

LifeDonut: i thought she made it pretty fun :D

Milky: not really no

M'Lady: it was just even more hectic

ILoveTaka: hey guys

ILoveTaka: lighten the fuck up

_KoKo-Puffs has joined the chat_

KoKo-Puffs: HEY GUYS :D

2kool4skool: hey nice to have you back~

OJ-Slut: sorry if our last impression was...awful

KoKo-Puff: nah are you kidding?

KoKo-Puffs: you guys are fun as fuck i had a blast 

smol-nugget: she couldn't stop laughing till she went to bed 

smol-nugget: she even chuckled in her sleep

Yaoi-is-life: Awwww how cute of my little Komaru <3

KoKo-Puffs: hey babe ^^

sweet-transvestite: that feel when you're the only single person in the chat D;

M'Lady: AHEM

sweet-transvestite: ...

sweet-transvestite: that feel when you're the only single person in the chat D;

tall-medium: savage

ILoveTaka: cold

ILoveTaka: i'm so proud of you

sweet-transvestite: thanks mondo ^ _ ^

M'Lady: D:

Sherlock: feelslifeman

M'Lady: why me? :c

Milky: you play the cards you're dealt porky

Sherlock: was that a gambling joke?

Milky: indeed it was c;

Sherlock: nice

 


	13. Junko's dreaded return approaches

**The Ultimate Gay's Group Chat**

 

2kool4skool: SNOW DAY SNOW DAY

2kool4skool: GUYS ITS A SNOW DAY

SevenNationArmy: yeah i know that's why i was still sleeping -_-

SevenNationArmy: its seven thirty dammit

sweet-transvestite: didn't that military thing you were a part of make you wake up early???

SevenNationArmy: yeah so i'm making up for lost sleep

Vocaloid: yeah with Junko coming back from her hawaii photoshoot tomorrow...

Vocaloid: she's going to need it ; - ;

smol-nugget: oh no

ILoveTaka: oh NO

tall-medium: OH NO

LifeDonut: OH YEAAAAAAAAH!

Yaoi-is-life: GO AWAY KOOL-AID MAN

LifeDonut: D;

MakinitRain: Oh...so she's returning.

MakinitRain: I hope her plane takes a nose dive into the ocean.

Sherlock: mood

smol-nugget: don't know if i would go THAT far

Milky: i would 

Sakura-Tree: we all know you would

Sakura-Tree: but don't worry guys if she gives any of you a hard time

Sakura-Tree: i know how to deal with it

LifeDonut: thanks babe <3

Sakura-Tree: <3

OJ-Slut: oh god junko is coming back??

OJ-Slut: don't let nagito know he HATES her

Sherlock: noted

OJ-Slut: uggggh seriously? so soon?

ILoveMondo: I'm afraid so. Her petty crimes and bullying are going to bring despair once again.

ILoveMondo: Mukuro do you know where her despair fixation came from? Perhaps a childhood trauma?

SevenNationArmy: nah nothing like that

SevenNationArmy: she was born that way believe it or not

M'Lady: poor ishimaru

M'Lady: he has to deal with her a lot being with the disciplinary committee and morals committee D:

smol-nugget: poor taka ; _ ;

tall-medium: i'll pray for you 

ILoveMondo: I must admit she gives me quite a hard time.

ILoveMondo: But I can handle her jabs and tricks no problem!

2kool4skool: remember when she waxed the floor of the detention room?

2kool4skool: nobody was safe that day

ILoveTaka: taka got it the worst because of that stupid bitch

ILoveTaka: when he fell she grabbed his study notes and chucked them out the window

sweet-transvestite: awww taka T_T

ILoveMondo: Yes I remember! You were close to hurting her kyodai but you took initiative instead!

LifeDonut: ooooo i never heard this part of the story

smol-nugget: what did he do?

ILoveMondo: He ran out of the school and looked around for my notebook!

ILoveMondo: He could never find it but he searched for 2 hours!

Vocaloid: awwww that's so sweet ; u ;

Sherlock: he really loves him quite dearly

Sherlock: from a detective's perspective i'd say their bond is unbreakable

ILoveTaka: OKAYOKAYOKAY WE'RE DONE TALKING ABOUT IT

ILoveMondo: Awww you're blushing!

Yaoi-is-life: CUUUUUUUTE

ILoveTaka: SHUT UP

Cloud_Boy: aww nothing is sweeter than two ultimates falling in love

Cloud_Boy: their hope shines so brightly

LifeDonut: hope boy pls

OJ-Slut: what about us falling in love?

Sherlock: i'm sensing some insecurity hinata

OJ-Slut: shut it

Cloud_Boy: our love is special hajime

Cloud_Boy: you're the only person i can be completely myself with

Cloud_Boy: everything just makes sense when i'm with you

Cloud_Boy: i'm happiest when i'm with you

Cloud_Boy: sorry for taking up the chat i'm sure what i said didn't make much sense

OJ-Slut: no its okay

OJ-Slut: and i feel the same

Cloud_Boy: <3

OJ-Slut: <3

KoKo-Puffs: yall gay

smol-nugget: so are you dumby

KoKo-Puffs: tru

LifeDonut: so we gonna be okay tomorrow? 

SevenNationArmy: yeah i'll try to keep junko from being too...junko

Cloud_Boy: WHAT???

OJ-Slut: oh no

Cloud_Boy: W H A T????????????????

2kool4skool: oh god we're doomed

OJ-Slut: you can say that again...


	14. haven't touched the chat in months because fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they haven't touched the chat in months because of the despair that is junko  
> leon fucks it up  
> and chihiro fixes it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry guys i'll try and update more often :D

**The Ultimate Gay's Group Chat**

 

2kool4skool: OKAY THIS CHAT HAS BEEN SILENT FOR LONG ENOUGH

2kool4skool: I'M BRINGING IT BACK

tall-medium: LEON NO YOU FOOL

smol-nugget: we can't have junko find this ; _ ;

ILoveTaka: leon if she finds this and reads our past conversations

ILoveTaka: I WILL HURT YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU LOVE

2kool4skool: DUDE I'M SORRY

2kool4skool: i just miss chatting with yall on here

Sherlock: we see each other at school every day

2kool4skool: yeah but we have fun here too

Milky: i wouldn't expect you of all people to get so sentimental 

OJ-Slut: yeah you seem narcissistic most of the time

2kool4skool: hey there's more to me than you think 

Yaoi-is-life: true there's your stupid relationship with that tall idiot

tall-medium rood D:

2kool4skool: one our relationship isn't stupid

2kool4skool: and two he's MY idiot

tall-medium: daaaaw <3

2kool4skool: <3

Yaoi-is-life: gross

SevenNationArmy: toko your name has never been more ironic

Yaoi-is-life: i know and i hate it! i'm nothing like that perverted serial killer bitch!

ILoveMondo: But Toko you seem to possess perverted qualities as well!

ILoveMondo: Always wanting Togami to step on you and spit on you...and other things that are too intimate to mention.

LifeDonut: HA taka fucking told you :D

Yaoi-is-life: if i end up switching soon i hope jack targets you first you gay goody goody bitch

ILoveTaka: HEY

ILoveMondo: She can try. But I honestly don't think she could keep up with me!

ILoveMondo: I have muscles of my own you know.

ILoveTaka: YEAH HE DOES AND THEY'RE GREAT

ILoveMondo: THANK YOU <3

ILoveTaka: <3

Yaoi-is-life: ugh whatever it's not worth the trouble

SevenNationArmy: okay nobody freak out

Vocaloid: why?? o.o

sweet-transvestite: what's up?

M'Lady: it's not what i think it is right??? RIGHT?

Cloud_Boy: what's the matter ikusaba? 

DESPAIR-SLUT: SUP FUCKERS!???!?!

Cloud_Boy: NO

Cloud_Boy: NO

MakinitRain: Oh dear God help us all.

smol-nugget: junko no pls

Vocaloid: oh no Q - Q

SevenNationArmy: yep we're fucked

Sakura-Tree: chihiro can't you block her or kick her out?

sweet-transvestite: i'm trying but the prompt isn't showing up v . v

DESPAIR-SLUT: I'm behind several proxies you can't destroy me >:D

Cloud_Boy: THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS

Cloud_Boy: FIND A WAY TO GET RID OF HER

ILoveTaka: CHIHIRO I BELIEVE IN YOU

sweet-transvestite: guys i think she somehow got into my account and made herself a moderator D:

Milky: well we're fucked

Sherlock: isn't there a way to unmod her?

sweet-transvestite: well technically i wasn't the one who created the chat i took it from leon

sweet-transvestite: and there are some commands that won't work for me since i'm not the main source

2kool4skool: you think i could do it?

sweet-transvestite: i'd have to transfer all control back to you but i'll try ^^

DESPAIR-SLUT: GO AHEAD AND TRY IT 

DESPAIR-SLUT: MMM THIS DESPAIR IS SO GOOD

Cloud_Boy: HOPE WILL SHINE THROUGH IN THE END

OJ-Slut: are you sure nagito it feels kind of hopeless

Cloud_Boy: i'm positive hajime! i believe in the power of the ultimate programmer!

sweet-transvestite: you're giving me too much credit ; - ;

sweet-transvestite: but i think i gave leon his permissions back

2kool4skool: alright lemme take a crack at this

tall-medium: you got this babe :D

2kool4skool: OKAY I GOT IT

2kool4skool: if she comes back again i can take care of it

Cloud_Boy: SEE I KNEW HOPE WOULD WIN

OJ-Slut: i know sweetie i know you were right

Cloud_Boy: ヽ(‘ ∇‘ )ノ

Milky: thank god that's over

smol-nugget: so you think we can use this chat again?

ILoveMondo: I don't see why not!

Sherlock: as hectic as it can be it is a little fun

2kool4skool: see i knew it would work out in the end

SevenNationArmy: we have chihiro to thank

tall-medium: thanks chichi :D

ILoveTaka: good job kid 

2kool4skool: thanks for the assist

Vocaloid: we're proud of you (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

sweet-transvestite: awww you guys you're so sweet thank you <3

Sakura-Tree: i think we'll be able to enjoy our time here again

LifeDonuts: with gayness and memes galore 

MakinitRain: Oh how wonderful...

smol-nugget: you know you enjoy it sometimes <3

MakinitRain: I will not confirm nor deny.


	15. a chapter as an excuse to change the names cause i'm bored

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anyway it's 3 in the morning and i had to do this

**The Ultimate Gay's Group Chat**

 

2kool4skool: okay so

2kool4skool: i get to keep control from now on right???

sweet-transvestite: yeh

Sherlock: i'd assume so

sweet-transvestite: thanks for making me a mod btw ^^

2kool4skool: no prob duder

2kool4skool: okay so i wanna change all our names cause i'm bored

2kool4skool: and i don't want yall gettin pissed at me and revoking me of my power again >:/

ILoveMondo: I'm sure it'll be fine Leon! I trust the names you choose will be appropriate and humorous!

ILoveTaka: you are seriously the cutest person the fuck

ILoveMondo: Aw thank you bro!

LifeDonut: so cute i'm gonna kermit

SevenNationArmy: wat

2kool4skool: kay i'm gonna do it now don't be whiny bitches about it pls and thank

tall-medium: i'm actually pretty excited :D

MakinitRain: The fact that this small trivial thing makes you excited shows how pathetic your life actually is.

tall-medium: D:

M'lady: OOF

Vocaloid: OOF

smol-nugget: OOF bby no that's mean ; _ ;

2kool4skool: hey hey togami how bout you...mcfuck off???

_MainitRain's name has been changed to CompensatingforSmallPenor_

CompensatingforSmallPenor: That is needlessly long not to mention inaccurate you idiot.

smol-nugget: yeah and i would know >:c

Yaoi-is-life: makoto i've spied on him in the locker rooms and

Yaoi-is-life: master is life but his dick left more to be desired

Milky: get fucking roasted

Vocaloid: OOOooooOO how scandalous o///o

LifeDonut: here lies togami and his disappointing penis 

CompensatingforSmallPenor: Why do I even hang out here?

smol-nugget: because you love me <3

CompensatingforSmallPenor: ...

CompensatingforSmallPenor: <3

OJ-Slut: gay

Sakura-Tree: hinata you have a boyfriend

OJ-Slut: still tho

_2kool4skool's name has been changed to RagingBi_

_tall-medium's name has been changed to ItsLitFam_

_LifeDonut's name has been changed to BreastStroke_

_OJ-Slut's name has been changed to MadforMaids_

_Cloud_Boy's name has been changed to KinkyBih_

_Yaoi-is-life's name has been changed to WhoEvenisthis_

_smol-nugget's name has been changed to GayNormie_

_Sakura-Tree's name has been changed to One-PUUUNCH_

_Milky's name has been changed to AngeryLesbian_

_ILoveMondo's name has been changed to 2Pure4This_

_ILoveTaka's name has been changed to ScreamsinGay_

_SevenNationArmy's name has been changed to OneShootyGurl_

_sweet-transvestite's name has been changed to HackerVoiceI'mIn_

_M'Lady's name has been changed to TokenHetero_

_Vocaloid's name has been changed to RollingGirl_

_Sherlock's name has been changed to Shercock_

RagingBi: the deed is done fuckers

BreastStroke: hehe i like mine cause titties

HackerVoiceI'mIn: i should have named myself this before and i'm ashamed that i didn't who am i

WhoEvenisthis: speaking of that what the fuck does my name even mean?

ScreamsinGay: cause half the time we don't fucking know who you are dumbass

WhoEvenisthis: fight me ya gay

 

GayNormie: i can't even fite you on mine cause it's true ; _ ;

MadforMaids: listen i only asked nagito to do it ONCE IT WAS ONE TIME

KinkyBih: but hajime you asked me to do it last night too <3

MadforMaids: NAGITO BBY PLS

 


	16. chihiro is ranting about monster prom make him stop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> totally not projecting my love for monster prom onto chihiro cough cough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RagingBi: Leon
> 
> CompensatingforSmallPenor: Togami
> 
> ItsLitFam: Yasuhiro
> 
> BreastStroke: Aoi
> 
> MadforMaids: Hajime
> 
> KinkyBih: Nagito
> 
> WhoEvenisthis: Toko
> 
> GayNormie: Makoto
> 
> One-PUUUNCH: Sakura
> 
> AngeryLesbian: Celeste
> 
> 2Pure4This: Taka
> 
> ScreamsinGay: Mondo
> 
> OneShootyGurl: Mukuro
> 
> HackerVoiceI'mIn: Chihiro
> 
> TokenHetero: Hifumi
> 
> RollingGirl: Sayaka
> 
> Shercock: Kirigiri

**The Ultimate Gay's Group Chat**

 

HackerVoiceI'mIn: GUYS GUYS GUYS

HackerVoiceI'mIn: HAVE YOU PLAYED MONSTER PROM YET???

AngeryLesbian: no and i'm not planning on it

Shercock: she has she loves vera like nobody saw that coming

AngeryLesbian: why must you expose me like this?

ItsLitFam: i bought it last night and i must say polly owns my heart <3

HackerVoiceI'mIn: polly's cute but i LOVE SCOTT HE'S SO PRECIOUS

GayNormie: he's a big ol cinnamon roll ; _ ;

HackerVoiceI'mIn: must protecc

2Pure4This: Mondo showed the game to me too! Might be a surprise but I have a soft spot for Damien!

HackerVoiceI'mIn: ...

RollingGirl: ...

ItsLitFam: ...

RagingBi: is anyone gonna tell him???

MadforMaids: wait tell him what?

Whoevenisthis: that it's literally not a fucking surprise at all stupid

MadforMaids: bitch

Whoevenisthis: slut

MadforMaids: asshole

Whoevenisthis: CUNT

MadforMaids: DICK

CompensatingforSmallPenor: Can you two stop you're behaving like idiotic children.

KinkyBih: i'll fight her hajime just say the word

MadforMaids: babe pls it's fine

HackerVoiceI'mIn: CAN WE GET BACK TO MONSTER PROM PLS???

BreastStroke: miranda is best girl don't @ me

AngeryLesbian: @BreastStroke yeah no it's vera

BreastStroke: yeah no your taste is bad

RagingBi: no waifu wars in my good christian server pls

One-PUUUNCH: a war over that kind of thing seems trivial everyone's opinions are valid

ScreamsinGay: all waifus and husbandos are valid

ScreamsinGay: but oz is best boy in my heart he's such a cute little nerd

OneShootyGurl: ...

Whoevenisthis: ...

BreastStroke: ...

RollingGirl: ...

TokenHetero: is someone gonna tell him???

ScreamsinGay: CAN YOU GUYS STOP THAT?

HackerVoiceI'mIn: yeah yeah your's and taka's tastes are obvious lets move on

2Pure4This: BRO I'M CONFUSED

ScreamsinGay: ME TOO BRO 

HackerVoiceI'mIn: don't worry about it

HackerVoiceI'mIn: so anyway hifumi introduced me to some porn of the characters

GayNormie: HE DID WHAT???

BreastStroke: HE TAINTED THE SMOL

2Pure4This: HIFUMI HOW COULD YOU SHOW HIM SUCH THINGS?

TokenHetero: HE ASKED ME TO SEND HIM SOME STOP YELLING AT ME

ScreamsinGay: CHIHIRO NO YOU'RE GROUNDED

HackerVoiceI'mIn: YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD >:\

2Pure4This: YOU'RE GROUNDED

Shercock: uh oh you've unleashed mamma taka

ItsLitFam: so what was the porn like???

RagingBi: hiro pls

ItsLitFam: i'm just curious D:<

HackerVoiceI'mIn: _ozrailsdamien.jpg_   

 

(AN: not a real link get cucked c;)

 

KinkyBih: OOOOOoooOoO :D

GayNormie: NOT IN THE CHAT NOOOOOO ; _ ;

CompensatingforSmallPenor: HOW DARE YOU TAINT MAKOTO'S EYES WITH THAT

2Pure4This: O-Oh wow.

KinkyBih: such talent from the ultimate fanfic writer! i can practically feel the dick throbbing!

MadforMaids: NEVER SAY THAT AGAIN

RollingGirl: gross T ~ T

HackerVoiceI'mIn: hey i commissioned hifumi to draw it and like a good friend i'm sharing his talents

AngeryLesbian: the details....oh god

Shercock: i can never unsee this

ScreamsinGay: what 

ScreamsinGay: THE FUCK HIFUMI

TokenHetero: I NORMALLY DON'T DRAW YAOI BUT HE PAID ME A LOT I HAD TO D:

ScreamsinGay: YOU'RE SO DEAD

Shercock: he's just expressing anger because he likes it and doesn't want to admit it

One-PUUUNCH: his name has never been more accurate then

ScreamsinGay: THAT IS SO NOT FUCKING IT

2Pure4This: Bro it's okay if you like it!

ScreamsinGay: ...do you like it?

OneShootyGurl: omg

2Pure4This: Normally I don't take interest in such things. But it is quite nice to look at!

BreastStroke: oh god i'm too lesbian for this

ScreamsinGay: COOL THAT'S TOTALLY FINE I AGREE

HackerVoiceI'mIn: this reaction is WAY better than what i expected ^^

ItsLitFam: chihiro what happened to you where's your purity? U_U

HackerVoiceI'mIn: it's dead blame the internet

AngeryLesbian: well thanks to you i have to go wash out my eyes

ScreamsinGay: and i saved it for no reason in particular

BreastStroke: you're such a gay disaster

ScreamsinGay: i know

KinkyBih: hey hajime you think we could commission hifumi to draw us? OuO

MadforMaids: NO

TokenHetero: sure lets discuss prices later on komaeda! 

KinkyBih: WOO

MadforMaids: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


	17. It's 4am hiro go to bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just a short chapter so yall know i'm not dead

**The Ultimate Gay's Group Chat**

 

ItsLitFam: what came first the chicken or the egg??

ScreamsinGay: dude its 4 in the fucken morning why are you awake?

ItsLitFam: idk why r u awake?

ScreamsinGay: im fucken sick so i don't have to go to school today 

ScreamsinGay: so im just fucken around

ScreamsinGay: anyway your turn the fuck are you awake for?

ItsLitFam: imma level with u real quick

ItsLitFam: im high as hell and can't stop thinkin about paraboxes 

ScreamsinGay: you mean paradoxes?

ItsLitFam: yeah man and like complex riddles n shit

ScreamsinGay: okay but....why?

ItsLitFam: i was taking care of my pet chickens and it just got me thinkin stuff

ItsLitFam: like why is it inside and outside? 

ScreamsinGay: the fuck does that even mean?

ItsLitFam: y'know mondo like...outdoors and indoors

ItsLitFam: who decided what's out and what's in???

ItsLitFam: and why is it inSIDE and outSIDE like why are there sides??

ScreamsinGay: ffs why don't you ask your boyfriend 

ItsLitFam: he's doing sleep rn and he's cute

ScreamsinGay: gay

ItsLitFam: anyway another thing if a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around to hear it

ItsLitFam: does it make a noise?

ScreamsinGay: i never got why that's a fucken riddle we don't need to be around for noise to exist

ScreamsinGay: so yes it makes a fucken noise 

ItsLitFam: when did u get so smart man wow

ItsLitFam: does dating a nerd make u smart??

ScreamsinGay: 1. that wasn't even that smart sounding 2. don't call taka a nerd

ScreamsinGay: and 3. by the same logic you dating a baseball player must make you good at sports

ItsLitFam: i mean like...i can throw the ball like real far

ItsLitFam: leon thinks im good

ScreamsinGay: he's lying now go the fuck to bed

ItsLitFam: nah i'll just ask leon my questions since you're being a big mean nerd

ScreamsinGay: what happened to him being cute?

ItsLitFam: he can be cute later i have questions

ScreamsinGay: whatever goodnight you high fuck

 


End file.
